November 2, 2013

My take on Matt Walsh's Blog Post: Dear daughter, you’re beautiful

First, if you are unfamiliar with Blogger Matt Walsh, check out his blog at The Matt Walsh Blog.
I'm still somewhat new to his fan base, but so far, I'm finding myself to be agreeable with his points of view, and the topics he talks about are what I relate to. I recommend you check him out for yourself.  

This is in regards to his recent post: 
by                       Dear daughter,
You’re far too young to be aware of this, but, in the last few days, many people have watched a video of a model being “altered” by photoshop. It shows her artificial transformation from real and attractive to fraudulent and malformed — or, as they call it in the fashion world, “sexy.”

I have 2 daughters, both of which are beyond beautiful to me. And yes, ok, I do understand that by being their mom there is a bit of biased opinion floating around in that sentence. But I have also had, on many a grocery trip, strangers stop and tell me just how beautiful they are, so there may be more there than my own opinion.

Regardless, I admit my first thought is I must protect them from people who will want to steal them away for their beauty, but once my "protective mother bear" instincts cool down, my thoughts also go to what Matt Walsh is saying in his post.  Will they see their own beauty? Will they think they are ugly or too fat because of some stupid comment from a kid at their school? Will it stick with them only to be reinforced by the media and horrid plasticized culture we have all come to accept (willingly for some ungodly reason)? Will it become the thing that dictates the roads they take in life?
I want the very best for my girls, obviously, but I want them to first and foremost have a healthy sense of self. Without the brain washing of society's idea of the perfect woman.  Without needing any physical validation from anyone else, myself and their dad included. I want them to see themselves without vanity, but to be "okay" with what is in front of them. I want them to carry on from day to day, in school, in activities, in play, in dating, in their jobs, in their own parenthood, and not NEED to focus on their outside self, but instead use any efforts to build themselves inside. To be the perfect person that they can be inside their brain, inside their heart, inside their soul. I think we loose who we are on the inside before we even have a chance to "find" out who we are in there, because so much emphasis is spent trying to "fix" ourselves on the outside from the get go.

I believe how they feel about themselves will control what risks they take, and how much they put themselves out there into the world. With a healthy knowledge of what the bad risks are, of course. But I'm talking about the good risks.  The things you do that gets you places in life.  Will they take a course in school that challenges them, because it may lead to a better college? Will they try out for a sport after school because they will make friends and perhaps have those friendships for the rest of their lives?
Will they go out on their own after school, back packing across europe, start up that business idea they have hidden away in their intelligent beautiful brain, strike up a conversation with that hot guy at the coffee shop, and possibly find their soul mate and make a beautiful family.  I think that negative appearance issues can act as a ball and chain. Keeping people from taking these risks/chances, because they don't have the confidence to see a possible success, only failure, because when they look at themselves they see failure.

What it boils down to, is I just want them to be happy, and successful. Successful in the fact that they have never held themselves back. I would love for them to be accepting of themselves, in any way they are. I don't know how to ensure this. I guess if I did, I would feel better about my own self image.  I imagine if I could feel better about myself and be a role model for them, that could be the answer.  Still, that's a work in progress, that I guess I've had so may years of thinking one way, it's hard to change over night.
Although, I have the best motivation to do it!

What do you think?  Is this just an epidemic, never to be eradicated, only tolerated? Or is there some magical answer we're all missing?  Let me know what you think!?


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